


The Snoop Snoop Song

by Lady_Anon_x



Series: High I.Q Yet Totally Stupid [6]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Pet Names, Pre-Relationship, Snooping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Anon_x/pseuds/Lady_Anon_x
Summary: Penelope digs up all she can on the B.A.U's newest member.Are there any secrets they need to know about?
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Series: High I.Q Yet Totally Stupid [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139099
Kudos: 11





	The Snoop Snoop Song

**Author's Note:**

> I'm hoping you guys are enjoying this series! xx  
> Let me know if there's anything you want to see in particular. I know i said it wasn't in chronological order but I'm only on seasn four, so I can't write anything past that.  
> I'm really getting into editing pictures, I sit for hours editing before I even have a story to put them in lol.  
> I love all you guys!!! Thank you so much for reading!! xx

It was Hallie’s first official day as a consultant at the B.A.U. To say that she was nervous was an understatement. She was terrified.

She moved out to Quantico from Los Angeles to learn to profile serial killers, one-time murderers, liars, psychopaths, and everything in between. Was she crazy? Possibly.

She swiped her hair over her shoulder before grabbing her bag and making her way into the building.

The guard inside the door frowned at the young woman entering the building.

Hallie smiled awkwardly and walked up to him, “Hi, um. I’m Doctor Hallie West. I was told to get my identification at the desk?”

The guard looked at her and raised an eyebrow, a doctor, really?

“Do you have any other identification?”

“Uh, no. I don’t drive so… not really.”

“Hey! Hallie!”

She spun around and saw Doctor Reid jogging over to her.

“Doctor Reid. Hi.”

Spencer’s tall frame towered over her as he smiled, “So is this you? You’re here?”

Hallie returned his smile, “Yup, just going to get my I.D now.” She looked pointedly at the guard who just waved her to go in. “Thanks.”

“I’m so glad you’re here actually.” She gushed as she placed the lanyard over her neck, her F.B.I badge displayed proudly, “Means I won’t get lost.”

A goofy smile appeared on his face as he pressed the elevator button with his elbow, “Well, I’m happy to help.”

He looked down at her, noticing that she had pulled the sleeves of her flannel jacket over her hands. She was nervous, “Uh, so what did your parents say about you moving?” Spencer tried to spark up conversation to take her mind off it.

Hallie shrugged, “They were…surprised. I went to work in a coffee shop and came back with a job with the F.B.I. Told me how dangerous it was, blah blah blah. But they were happy and told me to come visit and they would come over during holidays and things.”

“Have you met everyone?”

Hallie shrugged, “Well I’ve met you, Morgan, Emily, J.J, Hotch and Gideon. How many more are there?”

Spencer nodded, “Just one, our tech analyst, Penelope Garcia. I think you’ll like her.”

The lift dinged at their floor and the doors opened, Hallie was frozen. Spencer had walked out but stopped and looked back, “I don’t think your first day should be spent hiding in the elevator.”

Hallie huffed, “You’re right.” She shook herself and walked out of the lift and into the large bullpen.

“Woah. This looks like every single crime drama show I’ve ever watched.” Hallie’s eyes sparkled.

“They’re very overdramatised. Very unclear time scale as well, so it looks like they’re solving major murder cases every day when in reality it’s maybe one every few months, two in two months in a rare instance.”

Hallie thought about it for a moment, “Huh, that makes so much sense.”

“It does?” Spencer was confused, usually at this point someone either looked at him funny, ignored him or told him to stop talking. This was new.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to think serial killers are active every week.” She stood in the middle of the isle and looked around, “So… where do I sit?”

Spencer pulled his bag over his head and pointed to one of the offices, “That’s Hotch’s office, he should be here.”

“Perfect. Thank you!” she bounced over to Hotch’s office. Spencer leaned back in his chair and watched her go. The excited hop in her step, Spencer still wasn’t over the length of her hair. Even when they were in L.A he would watch her in confusion. It fell all the way down her back, past her butt. Spencer loved long hair, as one could guess by the length of his own.  
They got on quite well the first time they worked together, they complimented each other in their skills. Whatever he couldn’t piece together, she did and what she couldn’t piece together, he did. She was curious and Spencer wanted to know more about her, he had heard about hyperthymesia before but had never seen a case of it up close. He didn’t want to make her some science experiment, he wanted to know _her_ as well as her brain.

“ty boy? Reid!”

Spencer jumped as he turned to see Morgan, Garcia and Emily staring at him.

“Are you okay?” Emily looked at him worriedly.

Spencer lifted his satchel off the floor and began aimlessly rummaging through it, “Fine. Fine.” His voice was higher than usual, and Emily raised an eyebrow at the others.

“What was that in your voice?” Penelope grinned.

Spencer didn’t look at her, “What was what? There was nothing in my voice.”

Garcia smiled and looked up to Hotch’s office, noticing a girl with bright ginger hair talking to their leader. “Who’s talking to Hotch?”

“Isn’t that Miss L.A?”

Penelope looked to Morgan, “Huh?”

“The girl who helped us with a case in L.A. Gideon offered her a job as a consultant until she can get her badge.” Emily explained.

Penelope hummed as she looked at Spencer who was fiddling with his case files, “Interesting. I wonder if they did an _extensive_ background check.”

“It would have been the same as ours, criminal background check, fingerprinting, credit history-”

Penelope dismissively waved her hand, “That’s the F.B.I background check, not Queen P’s background check. Who wants to know who we’re working with?”

“Count me in.” Emily smiled.

Morgan winked at her, “I always love to watch you work, baby girl.”

Spencer frowned, “Isn’t that an invasion of her privacy?”

Penelope pinched his cheek, “Oh sweetie. I’m not letting just anyone work with my family. To the throne room!” they walked out of the bullpen and headed towards Penelope’s office. Spencer watched them leave and sat for a moment contemplating. Screw it. He got up and jogged after them.

Penelope turned her monitors on and sat down rubbing her hands together, “Now then, what’s her name?”

“Holly wasn’t it?”

Spencer shook his head, “No it’s uh Hallie, Hallie West.”

Penelope’s nails clacked on her keyboard, “She should already be in our database.” She pulled up the F.B.I’s employee database and searched. “Ah, here we are. Doctor Hallie West. Ooooh another doctor on the team.” She pulled up her rap sheet and picture.

“That’s her.” Emily pointed to the picture.

"Huh." Penelope let out a sound of slight surprise.

Emily looked over her shoulder, "What?"

She cocked her head to the side as she studied the photo, "I wasn't expecting her to be ginger."

"Did you know that less than two percent of the world's population is a redhead. Both parents must be carriers of the mutated MC1R gene to be able to produce redhead children. They're also more likely to get skin cancer due to their fair skin and sensitivity to ultraviolet light." Spencer rattled off the facts to them.

"I don't think telling her that she's a mutation or that she will get skin cancer will get you a date." Emily told him with a straight face.

Penelope gasped, "A date?!"

Spencer fidgeted with his fingers, "Aren't you supposed to be snooping or something." trying to get the attention off of him.

Penelope giggled before letting it go, “Hallie West, twenty-three. Born on the twenty-fifth of December nineteen-eighty-one, aww she is a Christmas baby. It’s her birthday next month.” The rest leaned in to read it even though Penelope was reading out loud.

“Good job, Reid.” Emily poked him.

Spencer looked at her questioningly, “What for?”

“You’re no longer the baby of the group.”

Penelope typed again before humming.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“She was adopted in eighty-six at the age of five by Gina and Brian West. That's weird, her birth and adoption records are sealed though.”

“Sealed?” Emily repeated.

Morgan shrugged, "Why would you seal adoption records?"

Spencer folded his arms, "Usually, the reason for sealing adoption records is associated with carrying out closed adoptions. It's to protect the adoptee and adoptive parents from disruption by the biological parents."

“Can you unseal it?”

Spencer took a step forward, "What? No, don't unseal them!"

"Why not?" Morgan asked.

“Because they were sealed for a _reason_.” Spencer put forward. “Leave them sealed.” He glared at them, even though he was a little curious himself.

Penelope turned to look at him before nodding, “Okayyyy. Apart from the mystery birth and adoption. There’s no record of her before the age of five, like zilch. She went to local schools and was diagnosed with hyperthymesia at the age of fifteen.”

Morgan nodded, “I remember that she was able to remember great details about her memories and helped us on the case with it.”

A series of newspaper articles popped up on the screen.

 _‘Los Angeles whiz-kid graduates high school at just fifteen.’_ _  
‘Hallie West, 18, graduates with her first Doctorate in Psychology.’_

“She rivals your brain, junior G-man. She has three PhD’s, Psychology, Anthropology and Sociology, gotten from MIT in just four years.”

Emily lets out an impressed whistle.

“This girl is incredible; she has an I.Q of 165 and can read seventeen-thousand words a minute.”

“165? No way.”

“Yes way, my chocolate thunder. It’s a female version of the good doctor. She’s smart and hot.”

“Are you saying that I’m hot?” Spencer raised a brow at her. She wasn’t wrong though; Hallie _was_ smart and beautiful.

“Your babies would be smart _and_ beautiful.” Penelope wistfully sighed.

“Wait what?” Spencer sputtered and the other three just burst into laughter.

“Don’t play with him like that, baby girl, he’ll get a nose-bleed.”

Spencer frowned, “I don’t get nose-bleeds.”

Emily snickered, “I’ll explain it to you when you’re older.”

A knock at the door came and Penelope quickly deleted all the evidence off the screen.

It was just J.J, “Hotch wants us in the briefing room.” She didn’t move and looked at the suspicious looking four. “What you guys doing?”

“Nothing.” Penelope logged off her computer and stood up, “Come on. I want to meet the new girl.”

They all left Penelope’s office and made their way to the briefing room.

Hallie looked up from the table when they entered, giving them a sparkling smile.

Penelope shrieked and practically ran over to sit next to her, introducing herself and shaking her hand.

Spencer stared at her for longer than he should have but he couldn't stop thinking that maybe they were right, their babies would be smart and beautiful.


End file.
